本文試圖從自我認同危機的角度去探討安娜在朵樂絲•蕾辛的作品《金色筆記》中的困境。查爾斯•泰勒認為自我的定義隱含了我們對自身存在意義的解釋。自我認同的危機即是對生命的意義產生了茫然及不確定感。在《金色筆記》中，女主角安娜為自我認同的問題所苦而終至崩潰。因此，安娜必須重新定義自己存在的意義才能走出崩潰的陰影。

引介部分簡要的點出自我這個觀念從浪漫主義到後現代主義之間的轉變。在後現代的社會裡，追尋完整及探求深義的觀點已被破碎及虛無即的說法所取代。我以這兩者為標竿，來分析作者蕾辛在她其它論述作品中所呈現的態度，藉此為女主角的掙扎與最後的解脫提供背景與線索，以期能對女主角的困境有更深刻的剖析。

第一章闡釋自我與敘事之間的關聯和自我所牽涉的三個層面：時間、道德和社會。此章旨在陳述人對自我的了解必需透過類似敘述故事的過程，而其結果所產生的自我形象也必須在群體的生活中得到肯定與認同，而日常的行為活動其實是自我認同最堅實的支撐。於此章也論及追求絕對真實的自我敘事往往走向主體死亡的結果。第二章則從生活秩序的瓦解去分析安娜產生自我認同危機的原因，與其所表現出來的徵兆。第三章討論安娜追求真實自我以期能解決自我認同的危機。於此，藉首章的理論探討之助，可以看出安娜所接受的心理諮商和其所寫的筆記都是企圖找尋真實自我的表徵。但這兩種嘗試都以失敗結束，此時安娜也面臨崩潰。第四章透過索爾•格林的人格特質檢視，進一步剖析陷於困境中的安娜所面對的考驗。安娜與索爾間的互動逼使安娜崩潰，但是最後也引導她突破困境，接受所謂的真實自我其實並不存在。自此，安娜認定負責的自我是個人主體的核心並定義自己為『推石者』而走出自我認同的危機。

結論則呼應引介對作者蕾辛本身立場的研討，說明蕾辛是具有強烈道德使命感的作家，她為女主角安娜所譜寫的結局也因此可視為作者對深為後現代的破碎虛無感所苦的人所提出的良方。

My thesis is an attempt to approach Anna’s predicament in Doris Lessing’s The Golden Notebook from the angle of identity crisis. Charles Taylor maintains that in configuring the picture of self-identity, we actually answer the questions of existence. Identity crisis thus expresses the feeling of disorientation and uncertainty about the meaning of life. In The Golden Notebook, Anna is strained under her identity crisis which culminates in the mental collapse. In order to recover from the breakdown, Anna must re-answer the questions of her existence.

In the introductory chapter, I give a brief sketch on the concept of the self, focusing on its transition from the Romanticism to the postmodernism. In the postmodern world, the romantic vocabulary of wholeness and personal significance gives way to the postmodern expressions of fragmentation and meaninglessness. Against these two poles, I try to analyze Lessing’s attitudes. This chapter aims to offer the background against which the heroine’s struggle and solution can be better realized.

In Chapter One, I survey the concept of self as narrative and elucidate the three dimensions—temporal, moral, and social—of the self. The main point is that the self is produced in the narrative, and in daily routines the textual identity is confirmed and reinforced. Thus the daily performance serves as the most solid prop to uphold the picture of self-identity. In Chapter Two, I trace the sources of Anna’ identity crisis in light of the collapse of the practical involvements and highlight her syndrome of identity crisis with the aids of the theoretical discussion of the three dimensions. Chapter Tree deals with Anna’s search for the true self, the presence of which presumably can solve her identity problem. The quest for the true self takes the route of her sessions with the therapist Mrs. Marks and the scribbling in the four notebooks. Both fail to produce the true self-narrative. If the self is created in the narrative as the concept of self as narrative suggests, the failure to produce the true self-narrative announces the absence of the true self. In Chapter Four, I examine Saul Green’s features and Anna’s intercourse with him to bring out the hazards of her situation and her reconciliation with the inaccessibility of the true self. By invoking the figure of the boulder-pusher, Anna substitutes the responsible self for the true self. She finally breaks out of the shackle of despair and recovers from her mental breakdown.

In conclusion, I emphasize that Lessing is a strongly committed writer. Therefore, Anna’s salvation can be considered as Lessing’s suggestion for those who suffer out of a similar cause how to maintain themselves in the postmodern fragmentary world.

Table of Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1
Chapter One: Self and Narrative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9
Chapter Two: Downward Spiral . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Chapter Three: Search for the True Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52
Chapter Four: Breakthrough . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72
Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94
Works Cited . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100

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